Sleep is for the Weak
Then Again so is Insanity
Fresh air.

ptsdwillis:

Spencer nodded. “I know that exact feeling.  Justin as been here a long time though.  Dalton…it changes you.  Some things are for the better.  They are.  It protects you from the world, or it protects the world from you.  But no matter what…Dalton is a cage.  After any time, any animal will stop about believing they will be free.  But I agree.  Justin deserves to get out.  He’s patient with me.  That says a lot.” Spencer chuckled and shook his head. “No, you can’t.  My father still wants me to become a soldier.  But no matter what, I love him.  He’s sending me to art school, because he wants me to get better.  Thankfully my parents married for love, so the discussion of marriage hasn’t even come up.” 

“It’s no problem Laura.  One day, I want to have a child and support them for who they are.  Whatever that means.” 

Laura nodded a little. “You think I don’t know that? I haven’t been here that long and I already feel like a different person. The Justin I met in here wasn’t the same Justin who left England. Though that’s probably a good thing. The Justin who left me was on a road that only lead to one place, death. I know because I went down that road for a while after he left. Justin’s become a much better person for being here and I really think he’s ready to go.” She responded before sighing. “I know that’s how he feels. He’s told me before he doesn’t think he’s ever getting out of here. He says it in his sleep too. I dunno if it’s just around me but he’s said it and it made me incredibly sad and it’s what made me decided that I couldn’t leave here without him. I can’t leave him by himself again. I won’t abandon him.”

“What’s so important about you becoming a soldier that even after you were admitted into a mental facility your father is still trying to push you down that road?” Laura asked her face scrunched up in confusion. “That is great though. That he’s paying for your classes.  I dunno if my parents would do the same for me. I suppose they’d want me to go to Oxford or something to keep it British.” She giggled before running a hand through her hair. “Lucky for you. Your parents I guess will just be happy if you and Sydney get out of here alive.”

“Same here… that is if I have any.”

2 days ago with 23 notes — via ptsdwillis


Fresh air.

ptsdwillis:

Spencer laughed.  ”Stranger things have happened.  Perhaps you should stick around just until Justin gets out.”  Spencer bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah, I know it suck.  I love my family too.  I don’t know what I would do without them.”  Spencer mused. “Even if not for love, you should have the freedom to chose who you marry.  That’s what us ‘Yanks’ started.” 

Spencer giggled. “It might as well start somewhere, so it starts with us.  Who I love…or like…is up to me.  I have enough to worry about without pressure about who I should be with.  ”Things were like that when I first came at Dalton.  Now Sydney and I are very close.”  Spencer bit his lip. “If there is anything I can do to help….so you will not have to loose Justin again…just let me know, okay?” 

Laura smiled. “Yeah. I always believed that Justin would get out before I did… I just don’t ever think he believed it. Which he should. He deserves to get out of here just as much as anyone else.” She said softly before sighing. “Can’t really pick your family though can you? I guess I’ll just have to see how things go whenever I see my parents again. Maybe I can talk them into letting me marry who I want to marry instead of just some bloke they’ve chosen.”

Laura nodded. “Our generation will be the one to change it. We’re much more outspoken than our elders think we are. Smarter too.” She smiled and nodded. “Thanks Spencer. It’s nice to know there’s someone who gets it.”

2 days ago with 23 notes — via ptsdwillis


3 days ago with 43 notes — via m-a-g-i-c-world




Fresh air.

ptsdwillis:

“That sucks Laura.  I’m sorry.  Maybe try to find some way to meet in the middle?” Spencer offered doubting it would actually help. “Or you could just marry someone you like, and show up with that person.  That’s one way to stomp out old traditions.” Spencer laughed. “I think the idea is to marry someone you don’t know.  I’m pretty sure you have to know someone to stand them.” Spencer laughed a bit. “I don’t blame Justin either.  Everyone should have the right to marry whomever they wish.  That’s how I see it at least.” 

Spencer raised his eyebrows at the giggle. “Well, I guess a lot of people in their generation think that way too.  Hopefully that will be about thing will change in ours.” Spencer sighed. “I didn’t have my sister for four years.  All through high school, I was alone.  She was here, and I wrote.  I visited for Christmas.  But….I….I just didn’t know what to do….really.  I don’t want to lose her.  I can’t lose her.” Spencer sighed. 

“I know that feeling.  Justin is a good guy.” 

Laura shrugged. “I’ll just do what I have to. If Justin gets out of here before I do… which is a one in million chance… maybe I could go live with him and not return to England.” She smiled a little. “The only problem with that is getting cut off from my family. Which isn’t something I fancy. I love my family… just not their ideals.” Laura responded before nodding. “It’s a crazy notion but it’s how things have basically always been in upper class society. You Yanks are the ones who basically decided that was crazy and that you should marry for love.”

“I’m all for it though. If it means that Justin’s happy I don’t care who he’s with. He could be dating a woman who used to be a man or the other way around and it wouldn’t change a thing for me. I just want my brother to be happy. I hope so too, Spencer. Maybe it’ll start with us.” She smiled. “Justin left when I was still a kid… which is why we fought so much when I got here. We hadn’t seen each other in ages and he treated me like I hadn’t grown at all. It took some time for both of us to realize things were different and then we moved past it. I think we’re even closer because of it.” Laura smiled a bit. “I know what you mean. Losing your sibling, especially one you’re so close with it difficult if not impossible. At least you could visit Sydney. I was all alone.”

4 days ago with 23 notes — via ptsdwillis


4 days ago with 195 notes — via mmilkovich


doublelifejefflowry:

Yeah, she was. I was glad to see her too.  I know she wants me home, but she wants me to get better first.  

image

Yeah my mum writes as often as she can. Every letter tells me to hurry up and get better so that I can go home.



5 days ago with 33 notes — via luceimmortale


Fresh air.

ptsdwillis:

“As children, it’s our duty to change our parents minds.” Spencer said with the smallest smile.  ”If there is something we really want….rather it is going to the school we want to go, or marrying the person we want to marry, we have a right to fight for it.” Spener hummed.  ”Your parents were arranged to be together then? I guess if they have that type of relationship  then they understand what that type of marriage is built upon.” Spencer laughed. “Don’t blame poor Justin, its not his fault.  Sometimes…I wish…” Spencer trailed off.  ”In another world, things are different.” he said and smiled out the window.” Then, Spener started to laugh.  He tried to hide it behind his hand, but he could not.  ”Except for the joys of modern science, you would be correct.” 

Spencer shook his head. “No.  It’s not looney.  Trust me Laura, if there is one person in all this place that understand not wanting to leave here without their sibling it is me.” 

Spencer laughed again.  ”Justin is an idiot.” he nodded in agreement. “Yeah.  I get that…” Spencer sighed thoughtful. 

“My parents are very big on the proper way to do things and not marrying someone they would approve of just isn’t something I see them budging on. I do sort of have a choice in who I marry, the thing is the blokes they want me to marry aren’t the types of blokes I’d want to marry in the first place.” Laura responded before shrugging. “It’s really no use arguing with old traditions. We just have to be the generation to stomp it out. Though I suppose societal and familial pressures makes sure that the old ways never die out.”

“Yeah they understand what an arranged marriage is based on and Justin and I grew up hearing that if they could learn to love one another after being strangers then Justin and I could do it when our time came.” Laura said before making a face. “Doesn’t exactly catch my fancy though. Marrying some bloke I can’t stand.” She said before shaking her head. “No I don’t blame Justin per se. Whether or not Justin agreed to marry some bint wouldn’t have changed my having to marry some Duke or Lord of wherever. I just mean my options have been way limited since he decided he was going to defy mum and dad and not marry the bint.”

Laura was confused for a moment before she realized what she said. She started to giggle before looking at Spencer. “Doesn’t count though. At least not in the eyes of my parents.” She giggled before sombering up a little. “If you get out of here before Sydney though you’ll still be able to see her. If I get out of here before Justin I’m shipped back to England and all ties to him are lost. I can’t lose my brother again. Not after getting to spend so much time with him and getting to know him again. I just can’t.”

Laura nodded. “The biggest idiot out there but he’s my brother and I love him.”

5 days ago with 23 notes — via ptsdwillis


Fresh air.

ptsdwillis:

“That totally sucks.” Spencer scrunched up his nose.  ”You would think that things would change with the times.” Spencer shrugged. “What is your family going to think about Justin and Logan?” he wondered outloud.  ”My family….they don’t know.  But then again…” Spener paused.  He had gotten no reply from his last few letters.  He tried to push that aside. “That’s okay Laura.  After all we’ve been through, you can pretty much tell me anything.” 

Spencer nodded. “How much longer do you think you will be in Dalton?” he wondered. “What is a tosser? I’m not sure if that translates.” Spencer nodded. “I know.  Sydney was always like that…free…well until she was put here at least.” 

Laura smiled a little. “Yeah that just about describes it… and no. We’re British. We don’t exactly like change. At least the older generations don’t. Pretty sure that type of stuff is going to end with my generation. Can’t imagine whoever is set to marry me is going to be very happy. Though I guess I’m getting all of this because Justin refused to find someone to marry…” She shrugged before biting her lower lip. “I dunno. Mum’ll probably bawl her eyes out. The Bancroft name is going to end with him. Can’t exactly have kids if he’s shagging blokes can he?”

“I dunno. I told Justin I wasn’t leaving until he did but if the doctors say that I’m good and get all the papers signed to release me there really isn’t much fighting I could do is there?” She asked looked out the window again. “Seems a bit loony huh? Everyone is fighting to get out and I’m willing to fight to stay…”

“Oh uhm… idiot I guess would be a rough translation but it’s just one of those words with multiple meanings.” She smiled and nodded. “That’s why they were so good together… and why they didn’t work out. They’re too alike.”

5 days ago with 23 notes — via ptsdwillis